I keep going back to the idea of manipulatives. I want my heart to always be kneeling towards the Father. I want Him to be in my thoughts all day long. I want the love of Him to saturate all of my actions. I want His esteem to be made known in everything I say or do.
Today James posted in his Morning Meditation about his efforts and discouragement in the Tent of David project. It can be hard sharing news about the Jewish Messiah, and most churches do not want to hear it.
I know exactly what James means. I am not in the position that I may have an impact on a church, because I’m still just a young adult. But I have been working in my college ministries. And by working, I mean that I try to have God-focused conversations, and if I feel someone is ready I will share awesome stuff about Hebrew studies. I receive a variety of responses which is probably analogous to what you find among working adults. Some students are interested in the sense that they say “Oh, that’s cool, I didn’t know that,” but it does not actually inspire them to go deeper. A few people will argue with me, but they are the minority. But those few people are usually closer friends.
Sometimes it just takes faith.
When things are going hard.
When nothing seems to be going right.
When your sorrows are stacked, and stress is every other word.
When it seems you have no options.
When you cannot get a solid night’s sleep.
When you are too tired to care.
When you slip in your discipline.
When you just feel so far from God.
When the world is against you.
It just takes faith.
Faith will hold, faith will keep.
Faith will keep you from slipping, and help you to hold on to hope.
Faith will bring you through.
God is gracious, and oh so good.
Just wait on Yahweh.
Wait, I say, on Yahweh.
Attention: I have renamed this blog from Too Young to Wait to Call to Wander. Check my About page for more. The address is still the same, I’m not sure if I should change it.
My best friend is getting married this weekend. I am not going.
That sounds horrible, but the wedding is a thousand miles away.
I’ve known about the wedding for nearly five months. That should have given me plenty of time to buy a plane ticket and such, but the only money I had at that time was Japanese Yen. I did not worry about buying a plane ticket because there was no way I could have, because it is a waste of emotional energy to worry about something you cannot do anything about.
Since coming home, I completely trusted in Yahweh. He gave me shalom and joy that He was taking care of it. I was completely dependent that he would provide the money and everything.
I’ve heard financial miracle testimonies, and usually how they work is that the money comes in at the last minute. And by last minute I mean 11:59 PM.
So I waited. And for the past month I have been joyful and patient. However, last night there was no money. Was I disappointed? In a sense yes, but not really.
I completely put my trust in Yahweh. Just because He didn’t provide the money does not mean He did not follow through. Rather, He did follow through. If He had plans for me to be there this weekend, I would be going. But I am not going, so He must have purposes for me to be home this weekend.
My trip to Target today was confirmation of that. His favour was all over my time at Target. The items I needed to buy, whether I planned on it or not, were highlighted to me, and cheaper than I had expected. Then, my cashier was an old friend from high school who remembered me well and made my transaction smooth and pleasant. I felt Yahweh’s shalom, and I was happy with my shopping.
And He inspired a song in me tonight. It was awesome! I was dancing and singing, and then He stopped me. He told me to wait, and feel His presence. And then the song came out. So I rushed to the piano, found the chords, and jammed on that for a while. I don’t know what else He wants me to do with it, but I will wait.
Who am I to know how far Your Love goes
Who am I, I am Your child
Take me deeper
Take me higher
Take me wider
Than I have ever known