I keep going back to the idea of manipulatives. I want my heart to always be kneeling towards the Father. I want Him to be in my thoughts all day long. I want the love of Him to saturate all of my actions. I want His esteem to be made known in everything I say or do.
Small group was wonderful today. The girl who was not able to make it last week came today, and we had so much fun. We were only supposed to meet for 90 minutes, but we ended up meeting for 3 hours! The girls just had so much fun in the presence of YHWH, and with each other. I am so thankful, because I have been praying for these girls. My prayer has been that we can become like a family.
I have been observing Sabbath for a while now, at least a few years. And although Sabbath is restful, sometimes I feel like I am lacking something, as if resting is its own kind of work. And as I have studied Hebrew culture, I learned that Sabbath was (and is amongst modern Jews) a family event. And I realized that I was missing a family in my Sabbath. I am the only in my physical family who observes Sabbath, except for my mother. But while I am at school, it is just me.
As I mentioned in a recent post, I want to include more about a “Hebrew” lifestyle on this blog. So I’ll be posting photos of myself, sharing examples of dressing modestly and beautifully.
Actually, I love the story of this scarf. Around the time of my birthday this past October, I had finally decided to wear a head covering. The desire to wear one had been burning on my heart for a few months, but I had waited because I wanted to be sure the desire came from God. I wanted to be sure it was out of love, not fear. But first putting it on, I felt an overwhelming shalom. And I knew, that I wanted to keep wearing head coverings.
When I told my roommate, she’d thought I’d crossed a line. She did not understand, and it was awkward. But she did say, “But I understand that if Yahweh put this on your heart, than it’s what you need to do.” And so, she gave me this beautiful scarf for my birthday. I was so blessed! To me, it was a symbol that although she did not understand it, she was supporting me in my decision.
Modest does not have to be unattractive.
Yes, as Peter/Kepha admonishes us, beauty is not in what we wear, but in the attitude of our heart. That said, it is still nice to look pretty. And what’s more, it’s a wonderful feeling to dress beautifully in a way that gives honor to YHWH.
I’ll be posting more pictures of me in head coverings and outfits in the future. Look for them!
Sometimes it just takes faith.
When things are going hard.
When nothing seems to be going right.
When your sorrows are stacked, and stress is every other word.
When it seems you have no options.
When you cannot get a solid night’s sleep.
When you are too tired to care.
When you slip in your discipline.
When you just feel so far from God.
When the world is against you.
It just takes faith.
Faith will hold, faith will keep.
Faith will keep you from slipping, and help you to hold on to hope.
Faith will bring you through.
God is gracious, and oh so good.
Just wait on Yahweh.
Wait, I say, on Yahweh.
There are moments in my life when I realize just how young I am, and I learn the importance of weighing things against the test of time. This moment in my life is one of them.
I could list many things that I have held onto as definite, that turned out to be not so defined or long-lasting. Just to name a few, early high school I thought I was going to be a film score composer, freshman year of college I thought I’d for sure teach English in Japan, this time last year I thought I would be with my (now ex) boyfriend forever, and this past May I thought I would be following the Paleo diet for the rest of my life. Each time I make these resolutions, I mock my previous self as knowing nothing, and that I know so much better now.
“I think [Bernard]’s pretty harmless.”
Pretty Harmless, perhaps; but also pretty disquieting. That mania, to start with, for doing things in private. Which mean, in practice, not doing anything at all. For what was there that one could do in private. (Apart, of course, from going to bed: but one couldn’t do that all the time.) Yes, what was there? Precious little. The first afternoon they went out together was particularly fine. Lenina had suggested a swim at Toquay Country Club followed by dinner at the Oxford Union. But Bernard thought there would be too much of a crowd. Then what about a round of Electro-magnetic Golf at St. Andrew’s? But again, no: Bernard considered that Electro-magnetic Golf was a waste of time.
“Then what’s time for?” asked Lenina in some astonishment.
Apparently, for going [on] walks in the Lake district; for that was what he now proposed. Land on the top of Skiddaw and walk for a couple of hours in the heather. “Alone with you, Lenina.”
“But, Bernard, we should be alone all night.”
Bernard blushed and looked away. “I meant, alone for talking,” he mumbled.
“Talking? But what about?” Walking and talking–that seemed a very odd way of spending an afternoon.
I’m rereading through Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World for the first time since high school. I find that this work of art speaks to our culture even more so now than it did 80 years ago. But then again, society doesn’t change much, do they?
In yesterday’s post, I neglected some stuff….HOW MUCH YAHWEH HAS BEEN BLESSING ME IN TORAH-OBSERVANCE ON CAMPUS!!