Double Agent

A Hebrew in Modern Babylon.

That’s the name of this blog, right? Well, how did Daniel do it? He was PRIME MINISTER, but his religion was completely different than almost everyone else in government. How did he get there? By YHWH’s favour. But what about the details of his life? What about how he did business and had conversations?

We only get a small number of instances in Daniel’s life. There’s his arrival and his choice of diet, interpreting Nebuchanedzar’s dream, the firey furnace, another dream, the writing on the wall, the lion’s den, and his end-times revelations. Every story recounts Daniel completely obeying Yahweh and trusting in Yahweh! Daniel doesn’t have methods or plans. YHWH gave him a direction, and he moved. YHWH was faithful in guiding Daniel along the way.

As I start my year at university after a year abroad and summer break, I am thrown back into the liberal sphere. My Modernism professor introduced us to the class talking about how key thinkers like Marx, Darwin, Nietzsche, and Freud eliminated our need for a “God”, and that there is no plan, and that humans are not special. A brief conversation yesterday was about the fluidity of gender. I had a conversation with a different friend about modesty standards, she on the liberal side.

These are topics I face everyday, and topics I have to write papers on. I’m not even sure where I stand on some of these issues, and on some I’m not sure where the Scriptures stand. To clarify, by “these issues” I mean those issues that are hot and relevant to academia and young twenty-somethings. In most of these issues, the “Christian” stance is seen as outdated, racist, sexist, elitist, or just plain wrong.

As I shed the traditional Christian layers of my skin, I have to be careful with just how much I shed off. When I first started on my Torah journey, I threw off just about everything. But then I was alone. I had no opinions to lean on, no scriptures to defend my case. All I could say was, I don’t know.

Okay, actually I wish I had the humility to say I don’t know all the time. Often I try to make up something that sounds right if I don’t have the answer. But what did Daniel say?

“The secret which the sovereign is asking — the wise ones, the astrologers, the magicians, and the diviners are unable to show it to the sovereign. But there is an Elah in the heavens who reveals secrets, and He has made known to Sovereign Nebukadnetstsar what is to be in the latter days…” Daniel 2:26-27 ISR

So, in a world of Post-Modern Humanistic Babylon, how do I walk in righteousness? Just as Daniel did, by leaning on YHWH, because the Father is faithful.

Trust in YHWH with all your heard, and lean not on your own understanding;
Know Him in all your ways, And He makes all your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5 ISR

It’s not about me, or how much I know. Actually, it’s probably better in the academic sphere to have a different opinion than everybody else. They don’t want someone who follows the crowd. Good, because I follow YHWH!

I know this and still, I want to make plans and figure out how to have those conversations But as I’ve said before, it is a day by day journey with the Father. Everything outside of His plan is as vapor. My plans, my schedules, my theology will fade away with the wind. But He is more real than the earth I stand on. He has all the answers, and He knows the truth.

It’s time to let go of opinions, let go of my pride, let go of my ambitions. For YHWH will direct my path. He is always faithful, and He will never let me go.



I think I disgusted my boyfriend the other day.

We were having a theological argument discussion, as we tend to do. That day we happened to be talking about how the Christian Jesus feels too Pagan for him to follow. Meanwhile, I’m trying to show my (Jewish) boyfriend just how Jewish Yeshua is. We finally ended the discussion, and he made a funny comment about how Abba must be okay with magic, because my boyfriend loves Fantasy literature so much (as I do).

Well, said I, He’s okay with magic that is done according to His will. I mentioned works of healing, prophecy, and more. Eventually I cited that the Pagan sacrificing of children is an abomination to YHWH because they were doing spiritual works outside of YHWH’s will and for their own purposes. My boyfriend tried to make a point about modern American child sacrifices, but I said that was not my point. My point was that they had disobeyed YHWH, and that was the greater sin.

Wait, you’re saying that disobeying YHWH is worse than sacrificing children? He asked.

Our conversation didn’t last much longer, but I think that might have bothered him a little bit. My point is that sin is sin, no matter what it is.

Don’t get me wrong. Killing children is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. But, it is disgusting because YHWH says it is, because doing so is goes against His commands. Technically, if YHWH commanded such a deed, it would not be sinful or disgusting. In fact, YHWH asked such of Abraham, to offer up his only son. Yes, Yitzhaq was a grown man, but he was Abraham’s promised son, and YHWH told Abraham to offer him up.

However, YHWH saved Yitzhaq in the end, and Abraham was rewarded for his obedience. Thankfully, YHWH is a loving Creator, and He has made it a command not to sacrifice children. That does not mean there is not lawful killing. In Exodus, Abba outlines capital punishment for crimes of premeditated murder (not accidental murder), attacking and harming your parents, kidnapping whether the victim is harmed or not, and even cursing or shaming your parents. (Torah Class, Exodus lesson 22). Capital punishment protects innocent lives. How many prisoners finish their time and commit more crimes?

The law of capital punishment is an aspect of YHWH’s instructions that we see as “disgusting”. We are above such laws, we are more “humane” than that. Kosher? Kosher is tedious and unnecessary; we know how to cook our food properly. Sabbath? We have “Sunday”, the day “Jesus” rose from the dead. That must be more important than something YHWH commanded the Hebrews to follow. No images? That’s just ridiculous. We don’t worship images of a (gentile) Jesus or wear crosses (of the sun-deity Tammuz.) It’s just art, just symbols.

When are we going to stop favoring our idea of what is right, and start obeying His word, His instructions? Even if they seem disgusting, old fashioned, or tedious, they are YHWH’s instructions. I’ll end here with some words of the Apostle Yochanan.

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Y’shua Messiah the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of Elohim is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.


Sayounara 左様なら

Sayounara is normally written sayonara in English, and さようなら in Japanese, but I’ve chosen to leave in the long o and the kanji today. Japanese greetings are usually translated into their English equivalents, but the literal meanings are different. Translated as “good-bye”, sayou means “like that” and nara means “if that’s the case”, so all together it means “if it’s like that…” or “that being the case…”. The Japanese language is full of beautiful inferences, sayounara being one of them. To add more words to this translation, it could be “If we really have to part…” I can’t think of how to end the sentence because it is already wonderful as a cliffhanger.

Yesterday we had a ryuugakusei (study-abroad student) farewell party. I cried and I cried and I cried. I cannot bear thinking about parting from my friends with whom I’ve spent most every day with for nine months. 最後って言いたくないで。After that I went to karaoke with girls from my literature club. I didn’t cry when parting at the train station. Tonight my host grandparents were over for dinner. I didn’t cry when they left.

Why didn’t I cry? I was such a crybaby at the party. Was it the tightness of the bonds with the other students? Maybe. I think it’s because I was with the students every day, but my club friends and my grandparents I only see once or twice a week. Thus, I’m used to seeing them for a few hours at a time and not seeing them for a longer times inbetween. Still, I know it is the end, even if I can’t believe it.

“Five more days,” I said to my boyfriend. That I can believe, because I have felt every single day apart from him. I can believe that I’m going home, but not that I’m leaving Japan.

Hopefully one day I’ll be able to write this into a story. I love torturing my characters. Some people just love to watch the world burn.

We had a farewell/birthday party tonight. (Today is my host mom’s birthday.) They got me a fruit bouquet instead of cake. Yay! My host sisters got me a Winnie the Pooh Bear photo frame. Their cute faces are definitely going inside. My host mom got me a Japanese-English Japanese cookbook. おいしい~ My host grandma is going to stop by with some dried Japanese foods, like katsuo, konbu, and niboushi. Mmmm. They are so nice to me, how can my heart take it?