I keep going back to the idea of manipulatives. I want my heart to always be kneeling towards the Father. I want Him to be in my thoughts all day long. I want the love of Him to saturate all of my actions. I want His esteem to be made known in everything I say or do.
Today James posted in his Morning Meditation about his efforts and discouragement in the Tent of David project. It can be hard sharing news about the Jewish Messiah, and most churches do not want to hear it.
I know exactly what James means. I am not in the position that I may have an impact on a church, because I’m still just a young adult. But I have been working in my college ministries. And by working, I mean that I try to have God-focused conversations, and if I feel someone is ready I will share awesome stuff about Hebrew studies. I receive a variety of responses which is probably analogous to what you find among working adults. Some students are interested in the sense that they say “Oh, that’s cool, I didn’t know that,” but it does not actually inspire them to go deeper. A few people will argue with me, but they are the minority. But those few people are usually closer friends.
Small group was wonderful today. The girl who was not able to make it last week came today, and we had so much fun. We were only supposed to meet for 90 minutes, but we ended up meeting for 3 hours! The girls just had so much fun in the presence of YHWH, and with each other. I am so thankful, because I have been praying for these girls. My prayer has been that we can become like a family.
I have been observing Sabbath for a while now, at least a few years. And although Sabbath is restful, sometimes I feel like I am lacking something, as if resting is its own kind of work. And as I have studied Hebrew culture, I learned that Sabbath was (and is amongst modern Jews) a family event. And I realized that I was missing a family in my Sabbath. I am the only in my physical family who observes Sabbath, except for my mother. But while I am at school, it is just me.
Hey! Sorry I didn’t update sooner. Yesterday was busy.
My first small group went well. I was really blessed. I had planned for four students to come (in addition to myself and my roommate.) One did. Granted, one had valid plans to see a friend in the city. The other two have decided that their schedules are too full. I am not offended or discourage. Papa is good, and He is faithful. He promised me five to seven people, I will have five to seven people.
The girl who did come is such a blessing, and I am so happy to have her. She is a beautiful, bubbly girl, and she is so thirsty for more! When I told her we would be spending most of our time in Torah, she was so excited! She said that she has been wanting more OT education. Halleluyah!
As I rambled, I ended up having more time than I had planned. My little speech only lasted five to ten minutes! But Father blessed my tongue, and gave me the words to say. It was absolutely wonderful, and we ended the time in worship.
It may not have been the impressive small group I had been anticipating, but I had so much shalom. YHWH is tov. So so good!
I am really excited for this small group, and especially to see what YHWH is going to do in our hearts. His plans are so wonderful. I know this will go well.
As I mentioned in a recent post, I want to include more about a “Hebrew” lifestyle on this blog. So I’ll be posting photos of myself, sharing examples of dressing modestly and beautifully.
Actually, I love the story of this scarf. Around the time of my birthday this past October, I had finally decided to wear a head covering. The desire to wear one had been burning on my heart for a few months, but I had waited because I wanted to be sure the desire came from God. I wanted to be sure it was out of love, not fear. But first putting it on, I felt an overwhelming shalom. And I knew, that I wanted to keep wearing head coverings.
When I told my roommate, she’d thought I’d crossed a line. She did not understand, and it was awkward. But she did say, “But I understand that if Yahweh put this on your heart, than it’s what you need to do.” And so, she gave me this beautiful scarf for my birthday. I was so blessed! To me, it was a symbol that although she did not understand it, she was supporting me in my decision.
Modest does not have to be unattractive.
Yes, as Peter/Kepha admonishes us, beauty is not in what we wear, but in the attitude of our heart. That said, it is still nice to look pretty. And what’s more, it’s a wonderful feeling to dress beautifully in a way that gives honor to YHWH.
I’ll be posting more pictures of me in head coverings and outfits in the future. Look for them!
Sometimes it just takes faith.
When things are going hard.
When nothing seems to be going right.
When your sorrows are stacked, and stress is every other word.
When it seems you have no options.
When you cannot get a solid night’s sleep.
When you are too tired to care.
When you slip in your discipline.
When you just feel so far from God.
When the world is against you.
It just takes faith.
Faith will hold, faith will keep.
Faith will keep you from slipping, and help you to hold on to hope.
Faith will bring you through.
God is gracious, and oh so good.
Just wait on Yahweh.
Wait, I say, on Yahweh.
There are moments in my life when I realize just how young I am, and I learn the importance of weighing things against the test of time. This moment in my life is one of them.
I could list many things that I have held onto as definite, that turned out to be not so defined or long-lasting. Just to name a few, early high school I thought I was going to be a film score composer, freshman year of college I thought I’d for sure teach English in Japan, this time last year I thought I would be with my (now ex) boyfriend forever, and this past May I thought I would be following the Paleo diet for the rest of my life. Each time I make these resolutions, I mock my previous self as knowing nothing, and that I know so much better now.